Today is the Gold Coast Show public holiday. I can actually feel the optimism of the city, of myself. Our optimism is one. Fireworks are booming as we speak (so to speak). Spring is near, very near.

Right now I’m thinking “please, please let me trust this and please let it be okay to trust this. Please just let me feel safe and happy for once and secure. No piano is going to come crashing down if I let my guard down.”

“Is that a promise?” I ponder, with a glass of wine.

It’s Tori’s birthday here in Oz. Happy 47th Birthday, Tori! They are playing Cornflake Girl on 102.9 fm Hot Tomato.

Undented.

toriamos.com.

Natalie Imbruglia‘s song ‘Torn’ has been stuck in my head for nearly the past two weeks.

Driving in the car: “…That’s what’s goin’ on, nothing’s fine I’m torn!”

Cooking in the Kitchen: “I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel.”

While I’m supposed to be studying: “I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor”.

On my way to vote: “Illusion never changed into something real…”

That’s when it hit me, why I am singing this song over and over again. I am trying really hard as a new Australian to participate in the political processes, in the cultural aspects of everyday life, and I’ve been quite buoyant for the past 10 years.

Then I get Wendy Francis in my letterbox, promoting her Family First agenda.

The pamphlet reads: “Marriage is special”

Marriage is exclusively between a man and a woman. Family First is committed to promoting policies that support marriage and hold families together.

My first thought about Wendy Francis and Family First was this: if I wanted to be a hateful bigot, motivated by fear, and if I wanted to be an oppressive fascist and deny people the basic human right for their partnerships to be recognised through marriage, I would own it. I would don the KKK robes and honey, I would work it. I would wallow with Hitler in it! What is she afraid of?

Me. Family First is afraid of me. So why not let it rip? I can take you. I can take your God, too. And I will. I will never stop until MY family and MY relationship are given the recognition we deserve.

I was a teenager when I met my partner. We worked hard, we bought a house and built a life together. I am not so different from anyone else. Including members of Family First. I put my family first, but not at the expense of other families and I do not understand why you feel like you must marginalise me and my partner, treat us like we are outcasts and make us feel worthless? And why do you hide behind God to do it, can’t you stand on your own?

Anyway, enough ranting. I voted Greens this election. I just couldn’t stomach Julia Gillard or Tony Abbott. I am sick to death of supporting the careers of people who do not care about me or my quality of life, who have no interest in ever promoting my human rights… seriously pollies, fuck you.

Australians, wake up. This is our country and our society. What kind of Australia do we want to live in?

Natalie Imbruglia: Home.

I’ve decided to take a break from blogging about politics for a while. When you’re younger, getting pissed off about the injustices happening in the world gives you a kind of energy. As you start getting older it only drains you. So I’m retreating, which is what I should be doing anyway. My next semester at uni starts in August. There’ll be plenty to keep me busy then!

Last Friday I was out running some errands and decided to stop for a coffee. Usually I don’t do that. I hurry home to save time and money. Good to be good. That’s me. But on this particular day I was tired, disorganised and didn’t feel like rushing. So, I went café hunting and to my surprise, I could not find one in the vicinity of where my errands had to be completed.

That figures, I thought. So I went to a take away shop, you know, the kind that sell heaps of different deep-fried foods that all look the same on the outside. It was my only hope.

“Do you have any coffee?”

“Only instant, darl’ .”

“I’ll take it,” I smiled, reaching desperation mode. “Do you have anything vegetarian?”

“Ah, we got corn jacks…”

“That’s OK, I’ll take this cookie.”

Turns out the instant cup of coffee was only two bucks. I settled down my travelling circus and took a sip. Not bad. It was surprisingly drinkable. Or maybe caffeine is caffeine even if it’s cremated caffeine. I don’t know; it didn’t really matter if it was instant or not by then. I was gagging for a coffee.

I reached into my messenger bag and finished packing a parcel into an express post satchel. Most of my online shop customers do not opt for express shipping of their orders, so I don’t usually keep express post satchels on hand. Maybe I should start? Then, it was onto my re-enrolment application for the next semester at uni.

Because I have previous qualifications in the field in which I’m studying, I only have to take two classes this semester. Even that’s plenty, with everything else in life. I couldn’t imagine studying for a degree full time from scratch, what a killer that would be! Anyway, I sat there adding up the sums for all my textbooks, using my LG Prada KE850 mobile phone as a calculator. I’m quite proud of my Prada phone, I was really going for the ‘power-bitch’ look at the time. Today I’m not so concerned about proving anything to anyone. I think maybe I was at the time. Or rather, maybe I was trying to prove something to my self? An expensive point to make, but anyway – that was my day at the Only Instant Café.

LG Prada KE850 entry at Wikipedia.

I must admit, growing up surrounded by homophobia has eroded a great deal of the love I have for the United States, my homeland. Today is America’s Independence day and I’m sitting here feeling numb, searching earnestly for something to celebrate. I am trying to regain that lost love and heal myself, but it is like forgiving and loving an abusive parent. It’s really hard, and it would be easy for people to get offended and freak out and say “Love it or leave,” because that’s how a lot of people are. They don’t listen.

As it happens, I did leave. When I was twenty-one I moved overseas. But in effect, my country was taken away from me, or more accurately, I gave it up because I felt like everything the United States stood for was built on lies: equality, freedom, liberty and justice for all. How many Americans actually enjoy these qualities? Do they all? Maybe all straight, white, wealthy men! Or maybe I’m just a haunted old house, full of bad memories. There are plenty of those in the United States.

I’m really not as depressive of a person as this post makes me sound. Actually, I’m quite happy with my life and I love living in Australia. Writing this was just a healthy purge. I’m getting it off my chest so that it doesn’t have to stay there. It’s called blogging therapy! : )

Also, I think my voice, even though it will not be heard above the din of America’s Independence Day celebrations, still deserves to speak its truth and have its peace. My story, like it or not, is part of the patchwork of American experience. Some of the dreams had there were nightmares, and some of the people woke up.

U2 -’Tryin’ to throw your arms around the world’. This song is from the 1991 album ‘Achtung Baby’, the same album on which U2′s popular song ‘One’ appears.

Sometimes, I guess, maybe that’s what I’m trying to do. Throw my arms around the world. I’m not sure exactly how productive that is. We’re a society that is so over-saturated we’re practically smothering. Yet we are still somehow bored and hungry. I feel like I know why this is. But not too many people want to listen. Which is OK with me, actually. I understand where the desire to block other people’s bull sh-t comes from, and I don’t have that deep of a need to be heard. (That’s such a lie -- then why am I blogging)?

We all have ipods stuck in our heads. Or something. I’m no different. I have one, too. It plays songs like this.

P.S. I screwed up the code with my first attempt for this post, my appologies. I’ve now educated myself on how its done properly. No, I didn’t really. I just downloaded a plugin!

Lyrics -- ‘Tryin’ to throw your arms around the world.

U2.com -- Official site of the rock group from Dublin, Ireland.

In the United States, President Barack Obama has declared June 2010 to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender pride month. I must have been living under a rock because I did not hear about this until just recently! Not to worry because as it turns out, bloggers are uniting on 30 June to celebrate pride month, honour our diverse community and to promote equality. No matter where you are in the world, this is a great cause to support.

Because my last post is also LGBT related, I’ve chosen to make that post part of my contribution to pride month: the legalisation of gay marriage in Iceland, with hopes that such legislation will continue to make headway across the globe. In this post, which recognises pride month, I will also give my own personal argument as to why I believe LGBT, or the Queer community as I collectively call us, deserve marriage equality.

My argument is simply this: If the beliefs of an individual oppose homosexual marriage, then it is a formulation of their own beliefs and moral code. People have the right to believe whatever they like and to live however they choose, so long as they do not deprive the liberty of others. I believe this is where the fight for Queer rights and marriage equality becomes a human rights issue: denying me the right to marry my partner is a deprivation of my liberty and I will not stand for it.

I have been in a same-sex relationship with my partner for 12 years. It is a real relationship in every way, we are productive, professional members of society.

When I chose to unite myself with my partner, I left my homeland of the United States to be with him. Not only did I merge with him, I merged with Australia, his country and his family and their way of life. The relationship I have with my partner and his family is a marriage for all intents and purposes. I call my partner’s mother my mother in law and his father my father in law; my partner’s brother is my brother in law, his de facto is like my sister in law and their children are my niece and nephew. Except they’re not. These relationships exist only in my head, or at least according to the current laws. The laws and minds of humanity need to keep up.

The individual moral code of one person’s life should not be used to oppress others, by forcing them to live in exactly the same way.

To me this sounds elementary, and yet here I am having to spell it out. The same goes for the institution of marriage. My partner and I deserve legal recognition. If your definition of marriage is different from mine, that’s fine. We can agree to disagree. Meanwhile I will no longer be denied the human right to marry my same-sex partner.

Australia has a new Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. It is my hope that Ms. Gillard will be brave enough to tackle this issue and continue to make history as Australia’s first female PM: to support the marriage rights of the LGBT community.

I really can’t think of anything else to say, except that sometimes it feels like we still live in the Dark Ages. I, for one will not sit, waiting for the light to come. I intend to bring greater enlightenment to our world through activism, by becoming the light myself.

If your definition of marriage is different from mine, that’s fine. We can agree to disagree. Meanwhile I will no longer be denied the human right to marry my same-sex partner.

Presidential Proclamation–Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month.

Bloggers Unite: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Pride Month. See all participating blogs.

Bloggers Unite.

Iceland’s openly lesbian Prime Minister, Johanna Sigurdardottir, has legally married her same-sex partner after Iceland’s parliament ‘unanimously adopted legislation allowing gay marriage’. Iceland previously allowed civil parnterships, which granted similar rights to homosexual couples as heterosexual couples, but civil partnerships were not formal marriages.

I think this is great. I was really thrilled to read about this. Today we see another step forward for Queer rights.

My partner and I entered into a civil union in 2001 in Vermont USA, not long after civil unions were made legal. We thought it was something important to be a part of, to make our relationship be counted, and to be heard. Because we weren’t counted or heard in many ways. For example, as an American national, I could not (and still cannot) bring my same-sex partner into the United States solely on the grounds of our relationship. So, we felt that it was important to put Vermont’s civil union law to good use, with the hope that eventually these types of laws will evolve into something more comprehensive as Iceland has now seen.

Now if only Australia would adopt gay marriage. Currently, Australia does have civil unions in the Australian Capital Territory, Tasmania and Victoria. In my opinion, they’re kept very low-key. I say skip the civil partnerships. Those pieces of legislation have been like training wheels. This is one way for Julia Gillard, our new Australian Prime Minister, to make even more history as our first female PM: to be brave enough to tackle issues no one else was. Personally, I think the previous decade which saw us preoccupied with terrorism and the global financial crisis is over. We’re ready to pick up again with social issues and make more progress. Will Australia follow Iceland’s lead on gay marriage? Let’s wait and see.

Australian Marriage Equality Website.

Iceland prime minister Johanna Sigurdardottir marries her partner as gay marriage legalized.

Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir – Personal Blog (not in English).

It was Saturday morning. I had just published my post on ‘Tales of Subliming’ and was getting into some housework when there came a knock at the door. Our outer security door is made of heavy steel. It will hurt your hand if you try to knock on it. So we have a door bell. But they must have missed it. The light rapping was just loud enough for me to notice.

Not knowing who it could be (Jason and I weren’t expecting anyone), I opened the door. There standing on the other side of the threshold was René (whose name has been changed), an old acquaintance who I hadn’t seen in perhaps three years. We had met whilst volunteering for a community-based environmental group, that cared for the catchment of our local creek. A tentative friendship was formed, but then we went our separate ways.

Once you’ve been friends with someone, it doesn’t matter how long you haven’t seen them, it’s like no time has passed at all. At least, that’s how I’ve always found it to be. That’s also how it is when you meet a new friend for the first time, too. It’s like you’ve always known them, and have always been friends with them, and there was never any real separation. Seeing them is like recalling a memory.

Anyway, René was standing there telling me about this book I’d apparently loaned her, The art of happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Really? I’d honestly forgotten that I had loaned it to her. For all I knew, that book was still sitting on one of our bookshelves! How odd. So I invited her in and we caught up.

This has been happening to me all week. Old friends have been ringing on the phone, turning up out of the blue. I believe there is some spiritual connection in all this, particularly because all these friends who are coming back into my life are spiritual in one sense or another. I speculate as to what it all means. Have I manifested this? I honestly don’t know. But it’s turning out to be quite interesting. And to think I had just been lamenting on spirituality, ironically becoming isolating and lonely path.

Alright, so I’m defending Kevin Rudd. Live with it. I still support Kevin Rudd as Prime Minister of Australia and if he should lose that position, it should be up to the Australian people to decide, not the Australian Labor Party or any other party.

If Julia Gillard wants to become Prime Minister, I think she should go about it properly like Kevin Rudd did and earn it, by running a campaign and becoming elected. I simply cannot see how Kevin Rudd has done such a terrible job that he should be ousted by a caucus ballot. Please explain what he has done that is so terrible?

“I was elected by the people of Australia to do a job.” – Kevin Rudd

As Australians, I think we need to be careful about what is going on within our country and how much power we’re allowing our politicians to have. I don’t believe our elected officials should have the authority to throw out our Prime Minister, only we the people should have that power. Notice, that no one appears to be asking us what we think? Do they even care? We should be voting on this. Not our politicians.

I don’t have anything against Julia Gillard. In fact, I kinda like her. But the point is: I voted for RUDD. I still support Kevin Rudd and I still believe in his vision for Australia, even if the reality is not the ideal. It seldom ever is. But at least it’s real and fair. As a new Australian, if there is one thing I know about this country it is that Australia is the land of the ‘fair go’. So what exactly are we doing in this scenario?

A TRANSCRIPT of the Prime Minister’s press conference, Canberra, June 23.

Kevin Rudd’s last stand as Julia Gillard forces his hand on leadership – Staff writers at News.com.au.